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‘Pull over you dumb ass,’ I scolded myself. But I was still another ninety miles from a truck stop. There wasn’t much out here at all but sagebrush and jackrabbits. And then it hit me, ‘The Sunshine Kitten Farm.’ I haul this way at least a couple of times a month. I always wondered what that place looked like on the inside. Stuck out here in the dessert, about fifty miles from the closest known shithole in the universe, was a house of ill repute. A bordello if you prefer, but as most of us truckers refer to it on the CB, a butt hut. Due to my, ah, ‘condition’, I never stopped there before. What the hell, maybe they won’t mind if I stop and park in their lot and get a few hours of shuteye. A cold beer or two might be nice too and the place is only a couple miles up the road. Why not? I swung my tractor into the dirt driveway and found a spot that faced away from where the sun comes up. I put ol’ Betsy, that’s my truck, to bed and bumped the tires on the trailer as I stretched and. And THEN she proceeded to crush it. She was ONE seriously strong woman. She said “Marigold, but everybody calls me Mary. My parents foisted their bizarre sense of humor off on their children.”They all looked me over. I am nowhere near as impressive up close, as I am walking around on the stage. The lighting and elevation change the perspective. Their disappointment in my lack of awesomeness showed. I looked THEM over.Mary was stunning in a tucked in preppie princess kind of way. Plain black skirt, patent leather heels and very expensive looking silk blouse with some kind of industrial strength thing-a-ma-jig underneath, hoisting her girls to epic proportions. Her auburn hair, was very thick and cut into a hip quasi-Cleopatra hairdo. The bangs made her huge yellow cat eyes look absolutely feral. She had a $20,000 Rolex Yachtmaster on her wrist and enough gold to stock a pagan temple. But everything was displayed in a tastefully discreet manner.The term “slick lounge lizard” came to.
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